Why Would They Want to Talk With ME? (A Networking Story)

By Ellis Chase

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Building new relationships is an essential part of career transition. But it often causes discomfort. One of the common questions I receive from clients and students is, “Why would anyone respond to my request for an informational interview?”

They don’t understand why someone, especially someone they don’t know, would want to talk with them about their career. 

After we spend time discussing possible ways of expressing the request, i.e., “I’m doing some market research in…” or, “I’m performing some personal due diligence on next career options in…” there is still this issue of “Why would someone spend valuable time talking with a stranger?”

While it’s true that some will not respond well to these requests, begging off because of time issues, or thinking that it’s a direct job request (which it most certainly should not be), I’ve always thought that people interested in building their own careers should be amenable to a reasonable request for their time from those in career transition. 

Even more important, I believe saying “yes” to those requests may have a significant career benefit – for both sides.

A Significant Career Benefit - For Both Sides

I figured this out in my own career several years ago when I began to notice that when I agreed to meet with people who were attempting a move in my field, sometimes these people were able to help me out later on. 

There are many examples of these incidents that I enjoy telling my clients and students in order to make them more comfortable with building new relationships; the following is my favorite.

Around 8 or 9 years ago, the Dean of the program where I have consulted for the past (almost) 14 years, asked me if I’d talk with someone who was an alum of the program, and had done some advising work for it, as well. Of course, I agreed, for many reasons – it was a favor for the person who had hired me and she was the person who sent in my invoices every month.  (I also like her a lot.) 

Her referral was unable to meet with me in person, so we set up some time on the phone, and had – as I learned later – a good talk.

Payback Comes In Unexpected Forms

About a year later, the Dean and I were interviewing candidates for the Director’s position in the program where I was consulting. I particularly liked one candidate, as did she, and he was hired. He was very impressive and I thought he would be great for the program. He was, and is. 

Here’s where things get complicated for consultants. When a new head of a program is hired, the consultants usually are the first to go, because that new management person will want to bring in his/her own professional associates. I was convinced my tenure was about to end shortly. The new Director was very connected to the school, so I figured he had lots of people he would want to bring in to replace me.

We did hit it off, though, and began to significantly add to and build the program.  We spent a great deal of time conceptualizing the growth of what evolved into a ground-breaking department in its field (and still is).

But I still wasn’t comfortable, even though my hours had increased.

Then, he changed our arrangement to put me on retainer – every consultant’s ultimate goal.

I began to realize that maybe I was going to stay.

One day I asked him why he had been so nice to the guy (me) who had been left over from the previous regime. He looked at me, puzzled, and asked, “Don’t you remember that you spent quite a long time with me on the phone a few years ago?  You were really helpful.”

I didn’t remember. 

“Do you remember that I sent you a bottle of wine to thank you?”

This I remembered.

Then I looked it up in my notes and saw that we had indeed met.

I love torturing him about this story (especially in front of large classes), saying he needed to improve his presentation to create a more lasting perception (this always gets a big laugh). Truth is it was my memory that was the problem, and certainly not the way he presented. As I mentioned before, the guy is impressive. 

The real point of the story is that I had created a relationship that came back to reward me in a very significant way. I hope he feels the same. 

I had been on “the other side of the desk,” and there was at least as much in this interaction for me as there was for him – probably more, in the long run. 

The relationship continues, and has resulted in the most gratifying and productive consulting assignment I’ve ever had. All because of one phone call. 


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